Thanks For: ‘No I’m Not Asleep During the Movie My Eyes are Just Closed and I’m Snoring’ Fathers

Dear Snoring but not apparently not asleep Father,

If it snores like a sleeping person, if it’s eyes are closed like a sleeping person, if it reclines in the cushy chairs like a sleeping person – it’s a sleeping person. Namely you Father. Sleeping. Again. During a movie ‘that you really wanted to watch’. Really? Are you sure? Because you took your glasses off and everything, they didn’t just fall off your face.

You fall asleep during basically any movie. It’s okay, I’ve gotten used to it. But you’re adorably deffensive about how you definitely were not sleeping. I poked you and you didn’t move. You are asleep. The movie was Brave which you were only watching because your twenty something extremely mature daughter wanted to watch a Princess movie and you were bound and determined to have father daughter mother bonding time. There were bears. That makes it manly.

But Dad, it’s not just the Princess movies. You feel asleep during Transformers. Granted, limited plot but those explosions should keep you up. Not head bobbing like someone who hates candy apples. There is no genre of movie you don’t fall asleep for. The Dark Knight. THE DARK KNIGHT. Heath Ledger’s Joker. Batman. Explosions. You were snoozing.

Sigh. But because I love you, I choose to make this a thankfulness. You’re clearly exhausted. I’m glad you’re getting sleep somewhere. And I’m thankful that you’re clearly exhausted and still determined to do family activities. Even if that means Mom, Hedgehog, and I watch a movie while you fall asleep beside us.

You’re trying. I’m thankful for a dad who tries.

Aria

PS We’re watching Frozen next weekend. Please be prepared to be poked and prodded until Let it Go is over. Because I love you I demand that you not miss it. Then you may snooze.