Daily Thanks: Peggy Carter Isn’t a Superhero

Dear Marvel & DC,

Somehow, in some strange twist of fate, the first female superhero to headline her own live action anything since the resurgence of Marvel and DC has been, in fact, a super-powerless, marginalized human woman of the 40s. And so despite being a hardcore fan of Wonder Woman, Batgirl, Raven, Black Widow, and Jean Grey, I found myself most thankful for the existence of Agent Peggy Carter.

Sure we’ve seen plenty of Black Widow in Marvel movies but she’s always been second fiddle. Characters like Barbara Gordon, Huntress, Black Canary, and Supergirl have graced us with their presence. Wonder Woman held seasons of a tv series back in day. But aside from the little known Birds of Prey tv series, Peggy Carter has been the first in recent times to get any sort of popular billing.

It’s an interesting choice as far as a test case goes. Peggy Carter before all of these better known women. The only equivalent I can think of would be if Marvel had released Guardians of the Galaxy before the Avengers. I don’t know about you but I saw Guardians (a barely known entity of some comic I’d never read) because they’d earned my faith with the Avengers (which nearly every nerd has read).

Was Carter a successful test case? I’m not sure. The ratings haven’t been what people were hoping they would be (although really, if this was any other show, they’d be fine) and the quality slide a little in the second half once Peggy and Jarvis were split up. Should it get a second season. Personally I’d like to say yes, realistically I’m not entirely sure. I’ll leave that for  Marvel to decide.

Although there’s something to be said for creating a new 8 episode mini series for every time Agents of Shield goes on hiatus. We could explore a lot of secondary characters this way. Heck, I’d follow Pepper Potts around for a week with no Tony Stark in sight. I’d happily see what Lady Sif is up to. Ooooo I’d definitely follow Thor’s Darcy Lewis (Kat Denning’s) around for a while with a cameo or two from Jane Foster. Or what about 8 episodes of Maria Hill (Colbie Smulders)? If we’re really jumping into Civil War then she’s someone I’d like to know a little better.

But there are things to thankful for about agent carter beyond merely paving the way for female superheroes:

I’m thankful that we got a period piece from Marvel

I’m thankful that Marvel took a chance on this

I’m thankful that we got zany inventions and more Howard Stark

I’m thankful for the social commentary on women in the workplace

I’m thankful for Peggy Carter beating people up because those were generally some great actions scenes

I’m thankful that the show somehow balanced Peggy being sad over Steve’s death without encompassing her with it. There was just enough sadness to feel realistic and not quite enough to make me roll my eyes.

I’m thankful that there wasn’t too much Captain America

I’m thankful that we got to see some gal pal time and that it wasn’t just work and men (sidenote: I’m also thankful that the Cartenelli shippers got something for their trouble. I’m thankful that we got even a hint of that representation. However, I’m still voting for Sousa)

I’m thankful that they didn’t shy away from giving a key character a literal crutch. I’ve heard some talk about abelism and I won’t touch that but I do know that I don’t see a lot of representation from this category. All I can think off the top is HTTYD’s Hiccup and characters from the Last Airbender.

Mostly, I’m thankful for 8 episodes of maybe not the highest quality tv but of fun times tv.

Stay stupendous,

Aria

Thanks for: Brothers With the Man Flu

Dear Adult Brother Who Sneezes All Over Everything,

Why oh why are you unable to ever properly cover your face holes when you’re spewing bodily fluids everywhere? It’s not that hard to not sneeze on people! It’s definitely not hard not to intentionally cough on people. As your elder sister I command that you stop. It’s not funny.

Stop trying to sneeze on me.

The boy comes home for one week and it just so happens to be the week that he’s ‘deathly ill’. By which I mean he has the sniffles-wiffles and wants dear mommy to make him chicken noodle soup and buy him Popsicles.

Buy your own popsicles Hedgehog.

But your snot induced sniveling does procure one item of thankfulness – no dishes for me. Like magical clockwork as soon as the parents hear the vaguest sniffing, everything jumps straight to the dishwasher. This is nothing short of a miracle. Our parents hate the dishwasher with a fiery passion that I can’t quite comprehend. Somehow it’s evil. It apparently never cleans anything properly and takes too much water and is just a colossal pain the rear. Apparently.

This just seems to translate into Aria drying a whole ton of dishes every day.

But the parents have concluded that the one thing saving grace of the dishwasher is it’s ability to sanitize. So when someone is sick its suddenly a dishwasher-pooloza. No dishes for me. Bliss.

So thank you younger sibling for taking that chore away for a few days. But on the other hand, if you get me sick, I will re-infect you and you can take this right back to your generally unclean student housing.

And no, you’re not that sick, I don’t feel that sorry for you, and it’s just a cold.

Go get a kleenex.

Aria

Thanks for: Dressing Like A Disney Princess at Work

Dear Mom,

Just because I’m in my twenties and going in to work does not mean that I can’t secretly dress like a Disney Princess. You didn’t flinch when I wore the Batman shirt under my blazer or the Captain America earrings or inadvertently told my boss that I thought leopard onsies should be acceptable work attire – so it’s odd to me that the dressing like Elsa amuses you.

I mean it’s not like I’m wearing a gown and throwing snow at people. I bet my boss hasn’t even realized that I’m dressed like Elsa.

After all, when we bought the shirt you didn’t realize that I loved it for it’s Elsa-ness. To be fair, I didn’t even realize it. I was just like ‘I need a shirt. That shirt is blue. I like blue. I will try on that shirt.’

I truly am the most avid of shoppers.

Then I put the shirt on, looked in the mirror, and choked on air. The shirt was light blue, had tiny silver divet/sequin/embellishments (I don’t what you call them) all over it, and when I lifted my arms it got all drappy like a cape might be involved. Let It Go needed to be sung. I immediately did not care if it was form flattering or not, it was the Elsa shirt and I wanted it.

Thankfully you actually know what looks good on me (FYI this is why you still accompany me on shopping trips), and you gave the shirt the stamp of approval as I stared at the mirror with snowflakes in my eyes. You only realized it was my ‘Elsa shirt’ when I accidentally called it that trying to describe it to someone.

But I am so thankful for this shirt. I put it on with my dress pants, throw my hair into a side braid (a genuine challenge for this curly mass), and pop on a snowflake necklace – suddenly I’m a Princess. Or a Queen. Queen Elsa of Arendelle. And if you don’t think that mindset follows you throughout the day, well, you’ve got another think coming.

Because I spend the whole day prancing on air because that’s what royalty does, Mom.

Nothing can touch me, everything gets down efficiently, and please save the person who tries to be rude – Queens don’t take no nonsense. So go ahead and smile at my shenanigans, I know you love your nerd.

And thank you shirt, for being so inspiring.

Aria

Thanks for: Sunglasses and Scarves

Dear Snowy Sunshine,

The clouds have parted. Finally the sun is back. I’d forgotten what it looked like as the clouds of destiny took over the sky and dropped buckets of white stuff upon the earth. Everywhere. So much snow shoveling. Great exercise but oh so cold and stuck under a dreary grey sky.

But the sun is back, shining it’s shine.

But the cold and the snow are still here.

As such, I find myself in the uncommon position of wearing a winter coat, boats, scarf, TARDIS toque, mittens, gloves under mittens, and sunglasses. I’m so thankful for the dichotomy. What are you doing sunglasses? You are a summer attire option but I’m wearing you in February.

Being brilliant, that’s what you’re doing. I thought summer was sunny but seeing the sun reflect off the white snow is blinding. The world just went through some kind of filter that makes you squint because everything is so overexposed. But there you are sunglasses, restoring my capacity to see and bringing a little bit of summer to the winter.

The fact that I’m simultaneously wearing sunglasses and normal glasses should not be mentioned.

Thanks,
Aria

Thanks For: Plump, Happy Snowflakes

Dear Creator of Clouds,

You outdid yourself with the snowflakes this morning. Granted I could have done without the wind that whipped them into my face at a bajillion km/hour but still, the snowflakes themselves were stupendous. They were the plumpiest snowflakes I have ever seen. Fat snowflake conglomerates that bounced about on the wind like slightly drunk reindeer.

They were happy snowflakes.Warm cup of hot chocolate snowflakes. Toboggaing snowflakes. Snowman snowflakes. The kind of snowflake that makes Frosty come to life or houses the entire world of the Whos Down in Whoville.

They were quite clearly Christmas Card Snowflakes. The kind that falls idyllically through the back window while the TV family celebrates learning the meaning of Christmas. Quite frankly, the fat snowflakes made me happy when they were in my eyeballs.

So thank you. They were beautiful.

I look forward to any future art projects,

Aria

Thanks For: My Life is NOT A Horror Movie

Dear Fog,

If my life was a horror movie, I’d most certainly be dead based on the atmosphere you provided for my trip home last night. Basically I was confronted with the fog wall of death. You want to see more than 2 feet in front of you. Haha. Nope. Have some fog. Have some streetlights trying to shine through the fog. Have an abandoned parking lot.

I know how that scene is supposed to go. Plucky, brunette nerd convinces herself to stop being so silly because life is not a movie. She drifts through the fog towards her car. It’s fine. It’s fine. She says to herself. There is no scientific basis for fog equaling murderers hiding just out of sight. She reaches for the keys as she enters a particularly dense fog patch. boom . dead.

Thankfully your plucky nerd is still kicking. Either there were no murderers hiding in the fog or my well executed plan of running from my work building to the car like a flailing Olympic sprinter paid off. What? It’s not like my colleagues could see me, there was too much fog.

So today I’m basically thankful that there were no murderers in the fog. Or else I’m thankful for the fact that there were really slow murderers in the fog.

Either way.

Aria

Thanks For: WHAT DID I DO WITH THE DONKEY LAST YEAR? and other Christmas classics

Dearest Mother and Brother,

Confession time – Mom, the Hedgehog and I shared a chuckle when you asked us i”f your big balls were positioned right between the sticks”. You of course meant the red Christmas balls perched in the garland on the fireplace but we went a whole other route. Consider it sibling bonding fun times.

In fact the entire Christmas decorating experience turned into a bizarre list of catchphrases.

As always, setting up the nativity is my job. I finally found out why this year. Apparently it’s not because I’m so skillful at arranging camels but because “you don’t like the feel of Styrofoam”. Basically I’m just there to take things out of boxes for you. The Father escaped to the office. At least I’m not Hedgehog. His new life purpose is to:

1) Lift this heavy thing

2) Reach that tall place

3) Hold this thing right there. No there. A little to the left. Up. No too much. Down a touch. I said a touch. Don’t you know how much a touch is? That’s too much. Put it back. Hold still. Stop moving. What do you think. There? No I think we should put it over there. Hmmmmm. Repeat x10

So while the brother is lifting heavy things I’m busy wrestling with a wooden Mary, Joseph, Jesus and the crew. Mary, Joseph and Jesus are the easy part. Jesus goes in Mary’s arms, Joseph looks down adoringly. Put the whole thing in the middle. Shepherds go around the back and sides. It’s easy

Then there are the animals. Do you know how many animals I’ve got to wrangle on a piece of burlap ARTISTICALLY?! 4 sheep, an oxen, a goat, a GIANT CAMEL and a donkey. Oh the donkey. Just when I’d artistically placed the sheep, bunched the ox and goat together and stuffed the camel in the back corner. BOOM. I missed the donkey. This of course leads me to shout, “What did I do with the donkey last year?”.

Not a phrase I’d normally say.

Even better. When the mother was swapping her fall sticks for winter sticks (just nod at the difference) we got the delightful phrase, “There is a goat stuck to my scarf, someone help!”

Phenomenal. That’s what I’m thankful for. Rouge Christmas Goats.

Aria

Thanks For: Canada is Running Out of Cowboys

Dear Canadians Everywhere,

There is an urgent need for cowboys in Canada. Remember how you wanted to be a cowboy when you grew up? CANADA WANTS YOU. This is phenomenal. I didn’t even know that you still had the option to have the profession ‘cowboy’. I thought the cowboy when the way of the viking and the knight – straight out of existence and into imaginations.

Not so! Canada’s west is holding tight to the rough, rowdy, cow driving, horse riding, man with boots and a hat. In fact, we need more. We want cowboys. We’re actively looking for more people to get on horses and herd cows. There are JOB DESCRIPTIONS TITLED ‘COWBOY’ SOMEWHERE. I once applied to a job sololy because I wanted to write ‘Software Ninja’ on my resume. I wanted to be a ninja in any capacity.

But someone out there is a cowboy.

That’s it right there. That’s what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that someone can legitimately write cowboy on their business card. I’m thankful that the old west isn’t quite so old. I’m thankful for the little 6 year old inside who is thrilled at  this concept.

The Hedgehog shouldn’t be a teacher. He needs to drop out of school, get this butt in gear, and take his 6 foot something tall self over to Alberta and the other prairie places and be a real cowboy. That would make me a cowgirl by association. Without any of the dirt or camping or cows or manure. Yes. This is a good plan.

But seriously, cowboys still exist and we actively want more.

Thank you so much Truth North Strong and Free. Keep being Strong and Free and the new home of cowboys.

Regards,

Aria

Thanks For: There are Apprentice Ninjas On The Roof

Dear Literally Ninjas or Really Fat Seagulls,

STOP SETTING OFF THE ALARMS! I know it’s you causing the mind-numbing, brain-piercing siren to go off periodically during the day. You’re not even consistent with you timing. You land on the roof all stealthily then mess up or tip your fat seagull selves over and set off the alarm.

You know what I’m doing while you plan your assault on the building? Working like a good little employee. Then you set off your siren and I jump. Every. Single. Time. It’s not a great arrangement. Please improve your ninja skills or take a seagull weight loss program. Pretty please?

Or take me with you to your ninja academy to learn your ways.

But really, the siren is right above my head. I’m not appreciating it. It’s bad enough when the workmen are on the roof next door and bang on the window to our office accidentally with their tools. You ever turned around to a second story window and seen a large hairy man waving at you? Do not recommend.

However, you know why I’m thankful for you? Because you’re bringing the office together. Everyone emerges from their little rooms to discuss the noise, what could be causing the noise, if we should send someone onto the roof to investigate. It’s a party.

But still, increase those ninja skills.

Aria

Thanks For: Winter Slip N Slides

Dear Giant Icy Hill of Death,

I used to be convinced that the river was going to overflow, flooding the city, and only those of us who lived on the hill would be safe. I was thankful for you hill. Now, I have a car, it’s winter, and I’m a little less thankful and a little more ‘WHEEEEEEE!”

That’s a whee of “wheeee are all going to die because this hill is large and covered in ice and there are three stoplights that require attempted stopping on the Giant Hill of Icy Death plus a bridge at the end! With water! And Ice! And rapids! And a big ol’ dam!”. Guess who can actually stop on the Giant Icy Hill of Death? No-one. It’s one giant slip n slide. Not that snow sliding isn’t fun, I just prefer it to be on a toboggan. Or skis. Or snowboard. Or really anything not a car, I’m Canadian, ice is part of life.

But here comes the thanks people who live on the Giant Icy Hill of Death, those of us who are stuck on the ‘wrong’ side of the river’, we’ve become fabulous now drivers simply by necessity.

Everyone slides all over the place on that hill. Everytime. You see fishtails everywhere. Going up and down.

But rarely crashes.

No bumps. No bangs. No ditches. No rolls. No sliding into oncoming traffic. Just a lot of revving engines, sliding, fishtailing, and spinning tires. But rarely does anyone get hurt. We’ve learned. The Giant Icy Hill of Death teaches its students well. It forces parents living on the hill to take their children our for ‘Giant Icy Hill of Death’ sliding training. We are well equipped for winter.

Also it’s like a community. You’re sliding? ME TOO! I won’t honk at you. I see you’re stuck-ish. Let’s push together! I don’t mind that you’re only going 20. I get that you may be new to the Giant Icy Hill of Death. It’s terrifying. You’ll get use to it.

And when we did hit? Little bumps because everyone knows what the’re doing. No-one gets mad. Just pull over the car. Look at it. Shrug. Smile. Silly hill. Really. I’ve seen it more than once. It’s amazing.

Thank you great teacher, Giant Icy Hill of Death, for showing us your secrets.

Aria