Thanks for: Every Light In the House Is On

Dear Monsters hiding in dark corners,

I’m a little skittish when I’m home alone after 6PM and the house is making creaking, groaning, ‘I’m full of murderers’ type noises. Luckily I have a very rational, very adult way of handling this. Flip on every single light in the entire house from ceiling lights to lamps to nightlights. All of them. Blazing.

Extreme amounts of light means that whatever is lurking in the house, be it ghosts or sword wielding kidnappers, cannot touch me. How a sword wielding kidnapper is going to be stopped by lights I’m not sure. But my brain tells me its true so it must be. There are times to rational and times to accept the placebo.

So ha ha monsters that are permanently seared into my skull after too much Doctor Who, Scooby Doo, and some ill-advised episodes of Supernatural. I’ve got a house of light. You can’t touch this.

So thank you to the lightbulbs, eco-friendly and otherwise, for keeping me protected. Thank you for not exploding or throwing the fuse because the fuse box is down the stairs of evilness and beside the furnace of tortured souls. I would have to run the whole way.

Keep lighting up,



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