Thanks For: Canada is Running Out of Cowboys

Dear Canadians Everywhere,

There is an urgent need for cowboys in Canada. Remember how you wanted to be a cowboy when you grew up? CANADA WANTS YOU. This is phenomenal. I didn’t even know that you still had the option to have the profession ‘cowboy’. I thought the cowboy when the way of the viking and the knight – straight out of existence and into imaginations.

Not so! Canada’s west is holding tight to the rough, rowdy, cow driving, horse riding, man with boots and a hat. In fact, we need more. We want cowboys. We’re actively looking for more people to get on horses and herd cows. There are JOB DESCRIPTIONS TITLED ‘COWBOY’ SOMEWHERE. I once applied to a job sololy because I wanted to write ‘Software Ninja’ on my resume. I wanted to be a ninja in any capacity.

But someone out there is a cowboy.

That’s it right there. That’s what I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that someone can legitimately write cowboy on their business card. I’m thankful that the old west isn’t quite so old. I’m thankful for the little 6 year old inside who is thrilled at ┬áthis concept.

The Hedgehog shouldn’t be a teacher. He needs to drop out of school, get this butt in gear, and take his 6 foot something tall self over to Alberta and the other prairie places and be a real cowboy. That would make me a cowgirl by association. Without any of the dirt or camping or cows or manure. Yes. This is a good plan.

But seriously, cowboys still exist and we actively want more.

Thank you so much Truth North Strong and Free. Keep being Strong and Free and the new home of cowboys.

Regards,

Aria

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Thanks For: Canadians Cope with Winter By Eating More Broccoli

Dear Flowering Headed Cabbage Vegetable,

Not that I have anything against broccoli but as a Canadian I can say that this a course of action I’ve never considered. Granted, there’s a lot of winter here. Stretching endlessly on into a white abyss from which you believe there is no waking and that the meters of snow will never recede to once again reveal the small sprigs of triumphant grass. But I’ve never thought ‘hey, you know what would combat this winter? More broccoli’.

But apparently I’m missing out. Move over poutine and beaver tails (the sugary kind that takes like a heavenly waffle, we don’t eat real beavers), Canada’s loading up on broccoli.

So why is this a thanks? I’m not a fervent lover of broccoli. I’m not even sure if anyone fervently loves broccoli, it’s sort of a general meh vegetable. But I’m thankful for the image of Canadians hunkering down, hiding from the snow, with troves of broccoli.

Even better. This was put out by an American magazine. Come on America? Is this what you think of us? Slapping a hockey puck around our igloos, chased by polar bears as we fend them off with projectile tim bits, and munching on broccoli.

I love it. Yes. That’s perfect.

At least it makes sense. Broccoli is a stellar source of vitamin C which is what you tend to be missing in the months of deep dark snow. I know. First bio class was devoted to extracting vitamin C from broccoli. I, the ever skillful, managed to badly burn my hand steam. Sigh. Broccoli is dangerous.

But apparently Canadian,

Aria