Thanks For: My Mother Put the Whole Family on a Colonoscopy Diet

I wish I was kidding; I’m not getting a colonoscopy for another thirty years but I’ve been eating like I get one this morning. Basically when The Father has to get a colonoscopy, we all have to eat colourless food for 3 days. Is that TMI? Too LATE! It’s written now and as per guidelines, no erasing.

Thankfully those of us not getting invasive tests got to skip the medication and its uber unfortunate side effects. There’s one bathroom in the house that I’m staying far far away from. TMI again? Sorry. But anything red, purple or orange has been a no go. Anything with a lot of spice? Nope. Dinner has been interesting. Basically the rule is don’t tempt The Father with things he can’t eat. The Mother seems to think he has no willpower. She’s right.

Besides the vast increase in available jello there is only one real bright spot. The Mother said not to tempt The Father, guess what the Hedgehog and I have been doing all weekend?

“Hey Dad, look. I’ve got a muffin fresh out of the oven. Still warm. Homemade. Slathered in butter. Look at that. Look how it melts. Mmmmm delectable. Oh wait, you can’t eat this. Too much fiber. And the delicious blueberries are one of the forbidden colours. Too bad for you. Guess i’ll have to eat the whole dozen by myself. Why hello little brother, would you like an insanely good muffin?”

“Why yes dear sister. That muffin looks so good and its too bad for anyone who can’t have one. Let’s go eat sausage and chips and chocolate until we burst. Oh hi Dad. What you got there? Plain chicken broth with nothing else in it? Yum. I’ll just have to suffer along with this muffin”

*Dad stares longingly at the muffin from the corner* He has a baked good weakness.

My brother and I have never been so cordial to each other as when we’re teasing the Father. When the Mother is out of the room. If she asks, we’re angels.

Thanks for the chuckles and sibling bonding,

Aria

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