Thanks For: People Who Un-Subtly Enforce the Unspoken Car Merging Rule

Dear Double Lane Drivers,

If you know that your lane is ending just ahead and there is a humongously large line of cars lined up in the lane that doesn’t end AND YOU STAY IN YOUR LANE UNTIL YOU HIT THE MERGE then, how do I say this positively, you are the absolute best at being less than considerate and polite. You don’t think everyone stuck waiting in the non-merge lane doesn’t want to switch lanes, zip ahead twenty cars, and cut back over? Because we do. We just don’t. Because it’s rude.

I see this everyday coming home from work. I sit in the not moving lane and watch you fly by. You are forgiven for this if you’re from out of town, but there is no way that you’re all from our of town. No. You’re just being bumpits. And to the people who I see pull out of the slow lane and then race back in up ahead, ultimate bumpits.

I’m sure you’re lovely people but honestly, you’re having a bumpit moment.

Personally I just sit there and seethe a little. Then I roll down the windows and blast country music with the hope that you hate it. Then I get pelted by snow and rain because the weather here is lovely. It’s not a perfect system.

But then there are the people who actively do something about it. It’s not rude. It’s not aggressive. It’s brilliant. I’m not just brave enough to do. These brave soles sit squarely in the middle of road with half their car in each lane. You know what the bumpits can’t do? Get past

Unless they’re really very truly determined. I choose to assume someone in the car is pregnant and has to pee. Again, this is completely understandable.

These double lane cars prevent the merge lane cars from making it all the way to the merge. They decrease the advantage of the lane. The zippers are forced to merge early. Sometimes you see them looking sheepish, fully called out on their bumpit-ness.

It’s beautiful. Plus every car that’s not doing a double lane sit is rooting for them. They’re our champions, our mascots. They make us cheer and smile while we wait in the endless line of cars for the light to turn green so 2 cars can sneak through because that huge truck is so slow and can’t accelerate on a hill and takes up the whole light. Why is there no truck dedicated lane?

Thank you double lane drivers for enforcing the merging rule: merge early, be proactive, don’t be a bumpit.



2 thoughts on “Thanks For: People Who Un-Subtly Enforce the Unspoken Car Merging Rule

  1. “bumpits”—I’m so happy to finally have a name for them! Drives me crazy, too, and like you, I love the people who prevent them from doing it. I don’t have the nerve either, but I’m so grateful for those that do.

    Thanks for visiting my site. Much appreciated!


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