Dear Vastly Gigantic Pumpkin Pie,
Retail pies should not be big enough to drown in. I say should not but what I mean is “LOOK HOW BIG THAT PIE IS I’M GONNA EAT IT ALL AND FEEL NAUSEOUS AND IT WILL BE TOTALLY WORTH IT!” Plus I slathered it in whipped cream. Delicious.
Last night was a good time. Extended family fun times are always good but you, giant pie, made it a fantabulous time. As such, I’m thankful for your existence as short lived as it may have been. You were easily 30cm in diameter so for you, I will do math. 2119.5 centimeters cubed of pie goodness. Ironically you measure the volume of pie by using pi.
I enjoy pi related shenanigans.
I also enjoyed picturing you as a tiny pie for giants so I could image a giant man with you balanced on the end of his finger and being sad because he wanted more pie.
So thank you giant pumpkin pie for existing. Thank you for having a superior pie filling to pie crust ratio where I get more pie for less crust. Thank you for perpetuating the myth to The Mother that I need excess volumes of whipped cream. Thank you for giving me something to hold over the Hedgehog’s head as he missed out on giant pie. Thank you for being pumpkiny. Thank you for being huge and creating a twenty minutes pie size to pie cost discussion. Thank you for being so big that The Father taking 3 pieces in no way altered my pie availability.
Thank you even for the slight stomach ache. You were worth it.