Thanks for: Lazy Girl Hair

Dear Curls of Craziness,

I’m pretty sure that I have two heads worth of hair on my scalp. It’s thick, it’s crazy curly, it’s got a mind of it’s own, it literally breaks the super expensive hairdresser brushes when I get it cut. I can’t brush it unless it’s wet. Even after drowning it in conditioner, it makes ripping noises when brushed. IT’s like it’s own entity. My little brother has the exact same hair but in a shorter man length cut. Guess why I call him Hedgehog? It’s the hedgehog hair.

But I’m so thankful for this unruly head of hair because I am the laziest hair person ever. I literally do not touch it. I wake up, look in the mirror, go ‘eh good enough’, and head out the door. No product. No brushes. Sometimes I’ll sport a clip or a ponytail if things really went askew.

And hair, dear animal pelt affixed to my scalp, you keep me looking presentable. As a child you were thick and frizzy. Basically straight. As I grew up you increased the frizz. This was okay. Children can get away with unfortunate hair-dos. But then I got to high school and hair mattered. BAM puberty hits and you bust out all the curls. You’ve only gotten curlier. This is mildly alarming as The Mother already refers to you as a sort of near-Afro.

But you keep me looking presentable with no work. Because honestly, I wouldn’t do much to you even if you looked straight and limp and frizzy. Also dearest hair, the rain does absolutely nothing to you. I don’t need to do that girly screech and cover my head when it rains. We’re fine. Wet. But we look normal.

Sure, I’d like to try straightening my hair once in while if you’d stop being so stubborn and maybe it would be nice if you actually looked as long as you are and maybe I’m terrified of cutting my hair too short and becoming a Hedgehog, but those are minor complaints. You let me be lazy curls.

Thank you so much,



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