Thanks for: Unhelpful Sympathetic People

Dear Government Phone Lady,

I’m not a huge fan of the phone with it’s mediocre level of impersonalness. Either give me in person where I can wow you with my facial expression, overzealous hand gestures, and voice fluctuations or give me the wholly text base email. The phone feels like this weird orphan child of only using my voice but not my face.

I have extremely expressive eyebrows and I need to use their powers to convince you of things. That’s not to say I don’t use the phone, it’s just low on my preferred communication scheme.

This is the background of my call this morning with you dear lady. I didn’t get a chance to explain my conflicting emotions when I called you for a bunch of information. I love information so much that I was willing to call you to get it.

You didn’t have it. In fact, despite navigating the array of button pressing to get to you specifically, you were unhelpful. It almost felt like a waste of my superb ‘press button 1, press button 3’ type navigation. You didn’t seem to know anything on the topic that I wanted. That was your only job.

However, I’m still thankful for you. You were so very pleasant about the whole thing. You could have snubbed me with a no. You could have made up some rambling nonsense inaccurate answer to appease me. Instead you simply explained that you were very sorry but you didn’t know because you didn’t have the information.

I worked in government. I get it. I get how the information disassociation works.

You kindly went through your desk for 7 minutes to find me an alternative question query point. And you were simply friendly. Even at 9:15 in the morning which is before the time that all business calls should be made (after 10am please).

So thank you simply for being lovely even in the face of your unhelpfulness.



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